Tag Archives: love

So, the wine is gone…

In reading today’s reflection by Pope Francis about the wedding at Cana, it struck me further….The wine is our love for each other, the joy that we feel, the desire to be in union with the other. I thought about how the wine ran out, just as sometimes that does in our marriages. Bad planning, oversight, neglect, using more than we are putting in, etc., it all contributes to finding ourselves scraping the bottom of the barrel.

Jesus can change the ordinary into extraordinary though. Maybe it’s the mundane household chores or the tiring commute to work. Maybe the passion and desire is not only gone, but been replaced with frustration, dislike, even disgust (I bet water quality wasn’t always great in Biblical times).

Whatever it may be, Jesus can transform it into something amazing and more desirable than even the good you had before. He won’t do it without your  request though:

When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” …His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

He might not do it in your timing either:

What does this have to do with me? My hour has not yet come.

And it will take work by you:

Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water.” And they filled them up to the brim.

You might be taken by surprise. The servants didn’t know all what would become of all the water they labored to carry in and the Master was perplexed by the best coming second, but the party could continue now. The cups overflowed.

This new wine might look the same on the surface, but with the transformative love that you’ve allowed Jesus to work in you, even those mundane or difficult daily realities can become beautiful moments ripe with delicious love and lead to joyful celebrations.

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How did Christ love?

If you happened to be wondering, Ithought I should take a brief moment to explain to you why I chose the name “Like Christ Loved”. It comes from Ephesians 5: “husbands love your wives like Christ loved the Church.”

Two disclaimers:

1. I am NOT only highlighting what husbands are supposed to do.

2. Yes women, I know many of you don’t particularlly like Ephesians 5, but as you can see by the section I’ve highlighted, it’s not as misogynistic or womanizing as many intitially assume.

I want to give ample time to this text that I think should be mandatory at every Christian marriage ceremony. For now though, just a taste of why the name of my blog:

In every area of our lives we are called to love ‘like Christ loved’. This is not just limited to our spouses, but it has upmost importance in this context. Christ loved each and every one of us to the point of His death. I think we as Christians, especially Catholics, are somewhat desensitized to the Cross and the Crucifix. We see it all the time: In Church, in our homes, hanging from our rearview mirror, on our necks, on our ears…you get the point. We hear about it all the time too: Jesus died for your sins. Pick up your Cross and follow Me. Through the death on the Cross we have been reconciled. But how often does it just pass over us without really sinking in?

I have never seen the movie The Passion, because I honestly don’t think I could handle it. If I turn my eyes away in bloody scene in fiction movies, I don’t think I could stomach seeing an extremely realistic portrayal of what Jesus did for us. Maybe it is a good movie for all of us to watch once a year though. Really watch it. Then go read it in Scripture again…

…Then read Eph 5 again.

You see, how many marriages, Christian marriages, end when one or both spouses say, “God wouldn’t want me to be this unhappy”, “I deserve better”, “They did (fill in the blank) and that gives me the moral right to leave.”

Did Jesus die for your sins?
Has God given up on you?
Did you apologize first and THEN Jesus died for your sins?
Do you have perfect contrition every time you make a mistake?
Has God shown you mercy in order to soften your heart and show you His love?

So why have you given up on your spouse?
Do you withhold forgiveness from your spouse until they apologize and repent?
Do you expect them to have perfect contrition that meets your demands before you allow for reconcilliation?
Why do you hold your spouse to be nearly perfect, when you still have not yet finished being perfected yourself?
Do you demand justice on your spouse, but mercy for yourself?

So when I say, “Like Christ Loved”, I mean to challenge us to really love like He did. He was perfect, with no blemish, no sin, no shortcomings. Yet, His people still killed him. They tortured Him, they hammered inch long thorns into His skull, they ripped the skin off His back in strips, they humiliated Him, they called Him a liar, worse:a blasphemer. I then mocked Him and His claims, my spouse then laid a heavy cross on His back and demanded Him to carry it, your spouse then stripped Him buck naked in front of the entire city, you then hammered nails into His hands and feet, we all then stared at Him a while….then we all went back to our daily routine…..

We do not deserve what Christ did for us, but He did it to save us, because He loved us. God is our bridegroom, we are the bride. We, the bride nailed Him to that cross. Jesus, our groom, freely chose to marry His bride, the Church. He married her by laying down His life on the cross. Think about that! The cross is the marriage bed of the Church’s (our) union with God. It is where He consumated His union with us. It is where He saved us by giving us His flesh. We see it as this beautiful thing when we reflect on how now have access to salvation, but do you see how it reflects on your marriage? His torturous death was also our beautiful marriage to Him! Its so horrifying and so beautiful at the same time! Now think about this:We, His bride are the very persons that nailed Him to that Cross. As you can see, Ican’t emphasize that enough.

So the next time that you say that you deserve better or you think that your spouses sins and shortcomings are ample reasons enough to justify you foregoing mercy and forgiveness, think again about what you did to your spouse Jesus…and what He’s still doing for you.

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Introduction

Bear with me.

This is going to be rough. Rough because I’m not a grand writer. Rough because I’m nervous. Rough because I’m still dealing with my own slow learning curve. Rough because I’m still processing every single word that I’ll be telling you.

I write this blog for anyone who is affected by marriage. If that’s not you, then check your pulse. No matter what stage or state you are in life, in some way, shape, or form, you are affected by marriage. Maybe it’s your own, maybe your parent’s, maybe your friend’s, maybe your child’s. If none of those, then the total strangers’ who have found themselves dependent on your tax money to stay afloat after a divorce financial catastrophe. Any way you cut it, you can’t escape it.

I write to be a voice that is not often heard anymore. A voice to talk about strengthening marriage. A voice to uphold vows with absolutely no exceptions.

You’ll get to know me as I write, but here’s a few tidbits: I am married. I am a wife. My husband left me. We’ve been married for less than five years. We are both Christian. We are both practicing Catholics.

So I will draw from theology, psychology, philosophy, and personal experience to support you wherever you are in your journey. I will be addressing mostly issues pertaining to marriages that are struggling and need support and reasons to stay committed. My main goal is to foster reconciliation and growth in your marriage, but I will also be posting tidbits on preparing for marriage, how to make good marriages better, friendship, the concept of love in general, social impacts, etc.

By the time you find this I assume that my blog posts will paint a better picture. Comment. Question. Discuss.

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